hairylunch (hairylunch) wrote,

Wow, it's weird actually wanting something that might be out of grasp. In the past, I've considered myself a shoe-in for anything that I really wanted, or I didn't really care, and I'd settle for alternatives. Examples of things I didn't stress about that other people might have worried a bit about was college, standardized tests, co-op jobs, etc etc. In all of these cases, I assumed I'd be accepted or score well enough, or I just didn't care as one co-op was the same as another. I didn't really expend any effort towards them, but the TFA thing is different.

I'm not sure if this is because I really want to do it, or because this time I don't have alternatives if I don't get it, but this one is really stressing me out. I've caught myself really worrying whether I'll get accepted or not (there's about a 1 out of 6 acceptance rate). Letters were supposed to be postmarked by today for whether or not people were accepted or not. I can't figure out whether they sent it to my current address or my permanent address. There's a part on the application that asks where you want your acceptance packet sent (and that it's being postmarked on Jan. 5th). This is a bit confusing as the timeline states that this packet is really your assignment packet, not an acceptance one. So, who knows, maybe they sent my acceptance/rejection letter to MO, or perhaps it's in OH.

This is making me physically nervous. I actually had butterflies when I was going to check my mail earlier today (since the timeline says "Postmarked by December 15"). Crazy. I wonder how my life will be if I don't get accepted . . .

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