hairylunch (hairylunch) wrote,

  • Music:

Misogyny vs. Community

So, two posts recently clicked for me.

First off, Jillian posted about her experience at Bonnaroo. She talks about how while she's loved her Bonnaroo experiences, she doesn't plan on going back because of the misogynistic behavior she witnessed:
1. Ben Folds (see above) 2. I saw a hippie girl on her knees getting spanked by some guy. 3. Lots of horribly misogynistic language. 4. And the final straw...They have these other stages that have weird sideshow acts...and this one was a guy climbing into a balloon...After he demonstrated he asked for volunteers and he called them 'victims' and 'she' the whole thing was quite appalling. He kept harassing the women to take their clothes off...I understand that he really did need small women with little clothes for the demonstration...but it was too DV related for me! That was the pusher. It was just a reminder...that although I love hippies...some of them still don't get the equality thing.
(The Ben Folds' incident she mentions is where he apparently said "Bitches ain't nothing but tricks and hoes.") I'm not sure I'd consider #2 out of line - there are plenty of people with healthy relationships where submission and dominance are part of their fantasy lives - definitely depends on the situation, and it's hard to say from what Jillian wrote.

The other post that was related was the one my brother linked to about Meghan of Calentura getting raped last year on Warped Tour, and how it still affects her. Short version is that Meghan was drugged and raped by someone on the tour. Like many victims, after she reported it, people tried to brush it under the carpet - including her "friends," the tour organizers, etc. She still suffers from nightmares, insomnia, is afraid to go out alone, etc.
The main reason I wanted to go back on warped tour, aside from that it is an awesome tour and my band is fuckign awesome, and the world should hear us roar, is that i wanted the fuckers who were involved, especially the people who said i wanted it, and protected the rapist, to see me every day, and see that im okay..... but i'll never feel the same, and i'm not going to just go away, and that they dont get to feel okay with what they did, they dont get to just forget about how badly I was hurt...

because more often than not i think girls just cave and go away and hide in their terror, in order to protect themselves from further damage (note: recent neurological studies have shown that prolonged periods of psychosis due to panic actually degenerate and damage areas of the brain) And i really respect that but the result is that the world never gets to know how much violence twards women hurts.
Crazy stuff.

Two points to make. The first is about communities. I've never been to Bonnaroo but Burning Man sounds somewhat similar, especially as Jillian talks about how it's changed, with it shifting a bit towards a rave scene (I wrote about how this is what happens, once the weekend rolls around, at Burning Man, two years ago).

The other idea is how different group mentalities are. Even at events like Warped, Bonnaroo, or BM, which are all alternative communities of sort, it's kind of painful how sometimes people aren't looking out for their fellow man, and get lost in the hive mind.

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